Canadians have a reputation for being polite, courteous and overly apologetic. We are known worldwide for being friendly and agreeable people, who just seem to complain about the weather. But what you may not know is that there is a darker side to our nations psyche. If we feel we are being wronged or backed into a corner we will not back down. We become impolite, uncourteous and unapologetic. Or maybe its just us.
In our travels we have tried to honour our nations identity. We have been nice and courteous and theres rarely been a reason not to be. But, when provoked, we both can become a tad bit aggressive (ask the people that know us). When you get us both together in that frame of mind you get two unbalanced Canadians foaming at the mouth like rabid dogs.
As overlanders we are not doing something unique. Many have travelled before us and have documented their adventures. We have paid extra close attention to what they have written about their experiences in Honduras. We had decided long ago, to not spend any time in this country but we still had to cross it. The quickest way to get across is a stretch of highway that takes about two hours in between El Salvador and Nicaragua. This highway is riddled with corrupt cops who try to extort money from you.
The police officers will ask for your license, title and registration as well they will want to see a fire extinguisher, breakdown triangles and reflective tape on the back of your vehicle. If you don't have any of these items the game will start there but if you do they will move on and find another reason - imagined or real to start the shakedown. For example, they will tell you that your bush guards are illegal, or that you need mudflaps - etc, etc.
The shakedown usually goes like this - they get your license and registration and then they tell you your infraction. At that point you are screwed because they have your documents and are not going to give them back until you pay for them. Then they tell you that in order to pay the fine and get your documents back you will have to drive to a police station. This will cause the traveller great delay and inconvenience. This is where it gets good. The police officer will then offer to help you out by letting you pay for said infraction on the spot. Then the negotiations begin. We have read about fines ranging from a couple of dollars to hundreds. This will happen up to seven or so times on this stretch of highway.
To prepare for this stretch of highway we have studied what other travellers have done in order to not have to pay a bribe. Fake licenses, photocopied paperwork, not speaking one word of spanish, playing dumb and acting crazy all seem to have worked. So days before we were about to hit this road we discussed our approach with the policia. We were going to use the play dumb, no spanish and fake license strategy.
Things kinda didn't go as planned.......
This was a day we were dreading. The plan was to exit El Salvador, enter Honduras, drive across Honduras, exit Honduras, enter Nicaragua and drive to the closest city. The border crossing into Honduras was a complicated, time consuming and patience testing experience. It took about two hours but still it went well, all things considered. Next was the drive across the country, here are in point form how things went at each police check stop.
stop #1 - We had just gotten into second gear when a cop jumped out in front of us. He wanted to see our paperwork, triangles and fire extinguisher. We showed him our photocopied paperwork, pointed to the fire extinguisher and triangles on the floor of the truck. He wanted to see the triangles though, so I yanked it up off the floor and whipped it towards Justins window causing the cop to step back out of the way. He nodded his head and waved us on.
stop #2 - They took a look at our photocopied paperwork and waved us on.
stop #3 - A cop stopped us on the road and he made motions for us to pull off of the highway. Justin protested and said no. After a few minutes of this we relented and pulled off (these cops don't like audiences). He then told us to get out, to turn the truck off so that he could search our vehicle. We played dumb, like we didn't understand what he wanted us to do. Then he asked for our paperwork and after playing dumb for awhile we handed him the photocopies. He then instructed us again to get out of the vehicle. He didn't like the laminated fake drivers license and said, "Copy". Justin played confused, went into our file folder and handed him a PAPER COPY of his license. I almost died laughing right there. He then pulled Justin aside and said we weren't permitted to be in the country without his real license. So Justin removed his drivers license from the safe, where it was put the night before we crossed the border into Mexico (he's always used the fake one). The cop started waving our paperwork in the air to whom we thought was his boss. Justin walked up to the both of them and said angrily and in a raised voice, "Problemo?" and the boss shook his head no, tilted his head to the other cop and he then put the paperwork back in Justins hands. We were beginning to get riled up at this point.
stop #4 - was a big guy, acted very professional, took a look at our copies (copies not an issue here) and waved us on
stop #5 - Waved us through
stop #6 - Waved us through
stop #7 - He asked us to pull over to the right. The spanish word for right is, derecho. Justin said back to him with a confused look on his face "leche" The cop shook his head and waved us on. I almost died laughing again because the word, leche in spanish means milk. The cop must of thought that we weren't worth the hassle. We laughed about this all the way to our next stop.
stop #8 - This one was right before the border, we could see freedom. The cop asked for our paperwork. Now, I don't really know what happened but we both unhinged here. It had been a very long, hot and trying day and we had had enough of this ridiculousness. Yet again, he wanted our originals and he also wanted our vehicle title. This brought on "Canadians don't need a fck'n title," in unison from us. Then I started screaming, "Ocho policias, por que, por que?" At this point our truck was surrounded by the border crossing helpers. One of them spoke perfect English and translated back and forth with the cop for us. The cop started walking away with our paperwork and Justin hopped out of the truck after him. Justin saw that the cop was nervous and kept yelling at him, "What could possibly be wrong with the paperwork, I just entered Honduras two hours ago and have been stopped eight times, what are you going to find thats wrong with our paperwork?" The translator translated this and the cop said that Justin was going to get a fine. Justin said, "What fine, you're wasting my time." The cop replied, "Not for your paperwork but for being you." Justin then backed off and said, "There must be some confusion in the translation, I am done with Honduras." The cop handed him back the paperwork. This is the 'G' rated version of events.
In the end, on this notorious stretch of highway we never got the shakedown. We're not sure why but we imagine it has something to do with our behaviour. On only two of the eight stops did they even get to the point of checking for a fire extinguisher and triangles. I think that the whole paperwork/copies drama and our general behaviour may of thrown them off their game. We do not recommend this approach, things could of gone sideways on us.
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| all borders done, welcome to Nicaragua |
We're not proud of how we acted, we must apologize, after all we are Canadian.
